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Renege


Bangladeshpost
Published : 15 Dec 2019 04:14 PM | Updated : 06 Sep 2020 12:11 PM

Tasfia Tasneem Rafa

Akkma is now online. He contemplates what it really means to be online. Sitting in his darkened room viewing the faint illumination given off by the computer screen, he reads the posts made by his ‘online friends’. He struggles to comprehend what their life has culminated to, with their mundane everyday lives being plastered on their social media as if it was the new normal. He turns it off, leaving the comforts of his social prison to venture out into reality. Akkma loves being outdoors but alas he abhors crowds. As he wades through the sea of people on his way to the doctor, he feels as if he has procured more problems than the existing ones he was going to solve. A build-up of pent up pressure leaves him wondering why would he ever interact with the world’s cruelties than just sit by idly wasting away his breath in peace. He promised himself to do a great many tasks. Going to the gym to remain fit and healthy, continue his grind to be the best at what he does and many more. But alas, if it were that easy. Soon, he would always say. Soon he will do all that he wants to do. Tomorrow he will do exactly as he had planned the night before. But promises of the morrow are soon just another brick in the wall he places to hide behind. By now, the commitments have piled up too high. Even the few online Akkma feels comfortable interacting with has turned his aspirations into constant jabs of failure, mockingly bringing it up as his short-comings. Akkma’s perpetual quest of completing all that he has promised pains him deeply. He knows that he can do them all and prove everyone wrong about his capabilities. But only if Akkma was just like the everyday nobodies. He is not. His inner turmoils always get the better of him and he winds up in the same never-ending cycle of his renege misdemeanors. Back in his room, Akkma is staring at the screen again. Lurking in the outskirts of connection is where he finds to be most at ease. He decides to finally put in motion to all his grandiose plans but at his own pace, somewhere no one will be able to scrutinize his decisions anymore; in the plains of disconnections. Akkma is now offline.


The writer is a student of AIUB